The SCIENTIFIC reasons WHY you yell at your kids

So you’ve yelled at the kids (again) and you’re wondering why is it that you YELL or scream, and can’t stay calm amidst the chaos. There are scientific reasons why you yell at your kids. And no, it has nothing to do with being a ‘bad’ mum.

Here are some scientific reasons and neuroscience ideas that can help explain why parents may resort to screaming at their children:

1. The Amygdala Hijack: When a person feels threatened or overwhelmed, the amygdala, an area of the brain responsible for processing emotions, can override rational thinking. This leads to an “amygdala hijack,” where the brain’s fear response takes over, often resulting in impulsive and reactive behaviors like yelling or screaming. In stressful parenting situations, the amygdala hijack can occur, making it challenging for parents to regulate their emotions effectively.

2. Stress and Cortisol: Chronic stress can have a significant impact on parenting behavior. High levels of stress can lead to increased cortisol production in the brain, impairing cognitive functions and emotional regulation. This can make it more likely for parents to lose control and resort to yelling or screaming when dealing with challenging situations.

3. Parenting History and Modeling: The way parents were parented themselves can influence their own parenting style. If they experienced harsh discipline or were exposed to frequent yelling as children, they may be more inclined to repeat those patterns with their own children. This demonstrates the strong influence of modeling and learned behaviors in parenting

4. Limited Coping Skills: Parenting can be incredibly demanding, and when faced with overwhelming situations or constant challenges, some parents may have limited coping mechanisms to manage their emotions effectively. Without alternative strategies, screaming may become their default response to frustration or stress.

5. Lack of Emotional Regulation: Effective emotional regulation is crucial for healthy parenting. However, some individuals may struggle with regulating their own emotions, which can make it difficult for them to respond calmly and appropriately in stressful situations. The inability to regulate emotions increases the likelihood of resorting to yelling or screaming.

It’s important to note that while these factors may contribute to parents screaming at their children, it doesn’t justify or condone such behavior. Understanding these scientific reasons can serve as a starting point for parents to seek support, develop healthier coping strategies, and cultivate a more positive and nurturing environment for their children. Parenting resources, therapy, and mindfulness practices can help parents develop better emotional regulation skills and improve their overall parenting approach.